Un Done

This weekend I had a long talk with my mentor and friend, Brenda. I shared the disappointment and fear of this past week and the hope for next week.
This time will be better.
We will have a good day in court and this trial can only go in our favor.
We have fostered Little Ladybug 6 months and it's time to work on adopting her.
This is the next step.

It will be good. 

But, all is not well. Money is always an issue and right now work is too. I gave 10 years of complete dedication and countless unaccounted and unpaid hours to the hundreds of children I impacted and taught. 

Now I just want to be able to give a little extra time to our sweet baby girl when she needs me. If she's sick I can't and don't want to- find a friend or neighbor to watch her so I can go to work. Every once in a while I'd like to be able to take a day to spend with her that's not medical or court related.... 

but

I have a new supervisor who has no idea about the 10 years. He doesn't 'get' the dilemmas of a working mommy and he definitely doesn't know how to relate to my particular situation. 

so I am wondering...

Maybe I need to figure out how to be done. 

Done taking care of other people's children and focus on the gift(S) God has given me. He told me to love them and raise them up in the way they should go. 
That's my number one job right now. 

Regardless of how things work out, I'm so thankful.
Thankful that my dreams of parenthood finally came true.
Thankful for a husband who's also an incredible daddy.
Thankful for a baby girl who's absolutely perfect.
Thankful for a nice house, dependable cars, supportive family, a fit body, great church... so much.
So thankful. 
Most of all. I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit who lives inside of me.
The same one who raised Jesus from the dead.
The one who always provides for my needs and gives me good gifts.
The same one who is a promise keeper, dream giver, unconditional lover of my true self-the real me. 

I am undone.
I am happy.